I wrote this post late last night, it’s raw and unedited. I’m too tired (and a bit drunk — Yes, I’ve been day drinking today. No I didn’t get cancer because I drink too much. Yes, the doctors mentioned that waiting to have babies until I was “older” may have contributed to this (just like they said to Samantha on SITC)) — so I’m going to post without filtering, enjoy!!!
I don’t have any witty/funny stories for this post. So without getting crazy detailed about what’s going on (I am WAY too tired and overwhelmed to recap all the info we’ve been told and have had to ingest), so I will summarize Andrea style!
There’s no two ways around it. I have to have surgery and chemo. Looks like I’ll be on the TAC chemo cocktail. A real good time! Not (remember that one? NOT, hahaha, well, I crack myself up!). I hear the “A” in TAC is particularly shitty. But since I’m triple negative, I likely don’t have a choice. I just have to suck it up and take it.
Surgically I have a couple more options. At my age, I can do one of two things (1) lumpectomy + chemo + radiation OR (2) Mastectomy (single or bilateral) + immediate reconstruction (which isn’t truly “immediate”) + chemo.
My chemo regimen will knock me on my ass for 4 months assuming that I can withstand the treatments every other week. If my body can’t take it, they’ll move me to every three weeks, which simply prolongs the time to closer to 6 months of chemo. If I opt for Lumpectomy + radiation — I have to do 4-6 months of chemo PLUS an additional 5-7 weeks of DAILY radiation.
We still have to await my Bracca (sp?) 1 and 2 test. That test will tell us if I am genetically predisposed to cancer (we have family history of cancer on my mom’s side). If that test comes back positive, the recommendation will be for a bilateral mastectomy.
We met with lots of experts today. Learned lots of facts and statistics. We are now contemplating whether I just go for the bilateral mastectomy + immediate reconstruction (which, again, isn’t really “immediate”) + Chemo (NO RADIATION!) even if my Bracca test comes back negative.
As a relatively young person who has an aggressive cancer growing inside of her. Sitting through all of these appointments before I’ve even started treatment, I know one thing. I NEVER WANT TO GO THROUGH THIS AGAIN. I want to get healthy, have babies and never, ever, look back. I have so many more years to go. I want to be healthy for my family.
Paul may have put it best — he said that right now, the cure is worse than the disease — but if we can get through this, we’ll be a-ok.
Now it’s time to focus on thinking through what we want to do. This is a big decision!