Cancer Nesting

I’ve decided to do the bi-lateral mastectomy.  I don’t want to deal with this crap again in the future. So now we are just waiting for our surgeon and plastics guy to pick a date that works with both of their schedules. In the meantime, we’re nesting.  You know how people who are just about to have a baby go on a babymoon and get the house ready? Well, that’s exactly what we’re doing, but for Cancer!

We’ve busied ourselves with the realities of Cancer. There is a lot of paperwork and research to be done!  We have to figure out our insurance and my disability leave.  We have to find a medical oncologist we like in the city (We’ve decided that it’s crazy to drive 2 hours roundtrip down to PAMF for chemo — so I’m going to do that part here in the city, but do my surgery and reconstruction down in Palo Alto). We have to figure out how and where I get my hands on edibles (my friends who have already walked this path tell me that medical maryjane saved them during chemo). We have to figure out when our parents will fly in to help out, and for how long. We have to decide if we break our cardinal rule of “no TV in the bedroom” and go out and buy a cancer TV for the days that I inevitably won’t be able to get out of bed.

Also on the list, is getting in touch with local TNBC (Triple negative Breast Cancer) survivors. I want to learn and truly comprehend what the next 8 months are going to look like for me. I’m one of those people who can handle things IF I know what to expect and mentally prepare for it.  So I want to hear the good, the bad and the very ugly right now. How sick will I really feel? What does “really achey” actually mean? Do I need a port? When will my hair fall out? etc, etc.

Like any good nester before us, we also want to go on a cancermoon! I’m thinking Hawaii — I think I’ve earned it! And of course — we MUST throw a “Kick Cancer to the Curb” party. I mean, goes without saying, right?

9 thoughts on “Cancer Nesting

  1. Great job keeping a positive attitude…it will be your X factor in beating this thing!!! If you’re wanting to connect with other Triple Negative survivors…my friend Salina is the way to go…she is an amazing woman and a survivor with an incredible tenacity for life that helped her keep it together with two young sons while going through treatment! Let me know if you want a link to her blog to connect.

  2. Can we all come to the Kick Cancer to the Curb party … I can only imagine the bash you will throw. A good friend got into social work after her fight against breast cancer. Worked with an organization here … happy to connect you to her if you need anyone else 😉 GO YOU GO … sending east coast hugs to the west coast!

  3. I’ll walk you through it all – the bad, the worse and the worst. You will feel extremely sick. You will not be able to walk down to the end of your block. You absolutely will need a port. Consider whether you should get it placed in your arm (as I did) or your chest (more common). Your hair will fall out between your first and second rounds of chemo, or maybe between the second and third. Every part of you will hurt, and you will spend whole days chewing pain meds. BUT YOU WILL HAVE ME and Paul and your family and about a million other people you may or may not have even met yet who will love you and be there for you every step of the way. And most importantly, YOU WILL SURVIVE. It’s just gonna suck for a little while first.

  4. I wish I knew you. I’ve just finished what your will go through. Port-ta-bella is your friend;I had mine in my chest. (Buy a fuzzy seatbelt). You will have T – Rex arms for a few months…Physical therapy and Medical Massage. Are you able to do skin saving surgery? Break the Tv rule…Listening to the same show somehow was calming. It was the familiar voices..please reach out if I can help. I take lorazepam & its big brother temazepam for anxiety. And sleep.

    • Hi Robin, thank you for the note. I’m going to go read your blog today! I am planning to do a bi-lateral skin sparing mastectomy. Already got the TV into the bedroom — we are all set! xoxo

  5. Just found your blog. I love it! Was diagnosed with IDC on January 11 after finding lump in breast December 28. Friend came over to show off her new sisters and was swollen. She asked me to feel her boobs to see if I thought her boobs were swollen and low and behold found a big ‘ol lump. WTF! I’m triple negative as well and have one lymph node that is affected. I start ACT chemo this Friday. I’ve opted to do chemo first so that they can monitor lump to see if chemo is shrinking. I’m curious as to your decision of having mastectomy first versus chemo. Am I doing the right thing? I trust my doctors but am in the overload stage. I’m 41 with two children age 13 and 8. I could have written your blog myself. All of your emotions/feelings are exactly what I’m feeling. Haven’t had my big cry yet. Just got home from les Mis and didn’t cry. I know I’m still in shock but I better get to reality because I start chemo Friday. I swear I got bc because of the infertility drugs I injected in my abdomen for over a year (follistim). Nothing i can do about that now but I’m still in the stage where I want answers! Thanks for sharing your experience. It is very helpful for us newbies!

    • Hey Michele, Sorry to hear about your diagnosis — Cancer just plain sucks. I can’t really offer much insight into why my doc wanted to operate before chemo for me. I suspect it had to do with the stage and grading of my tumor. I’m sure your medical team has recommended the best course of action for your situation. If there is one thing I’ve learned thus far, it’s that you have to have faith in your doctors — otherwise you will go crazy. I’m glad my blog is helping you along your journey. We will come out better on the other end — I’m sure of that. But it’s gonna suck in the interim. ugh! All the best, Andrea

      • Andrea,
        Thanks for your response! I received it as I’m sitting in the CAT scan and MRI waiting room. I’m trying to drink down the horribly flavored fruit juice dye for my CAT scan. This absolutely sucks. I couldn’t sleep last night and wanted to get up and read your blog from beginning to end. I have two hours right now to ingest this drink and will gladly read your blog to pass the time! Thank you. I agree with your comment about trusting your doctors and having faith in their decisions. Just an example of when too much information is detrimental to the decisions made on our individual cases. I want you to know that you have helped me so much already. By blogging your experience, being completely upfront and honest is helping people that you had no idea you would help, like me. That is the beauty of your diagnosis. Please know that you have answered so many unknown questions that I have about my treatment and future by blogging. There are no coincidences in life and I’m just so blessed to have found your site. Enough gush, time to drink this crappy drink! Michele

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