I texted my amaze hairdresser, Kelly, a few days ago. I wanted to coordinate the next month of appointments with her. I think I want to keep my long hair for surgery and recovery. Then, the week of chemo, just lop it off into a cute pixie. This part is not scary to me — because I had super short hair (read: Halle Berry short) in undergrad. My parents’ friends used to refer to me as Liza Minnelli — RUDE.
Thanks to a bad breakup (sorry Jeff!), I decided to chop all my hair off. If any of you out there have pics of those days, send my way via email so I can post to the blog. I think it’ll be funny to see me then — when I thought my short hair was oh, so cutting edge — and now, forced to have my cutting edge hair once again!
After my second chemo, I’ll just shave my head to avoid the unnerving feeling of losing it in huge clumps. Paul has already offered to assist in this endeavor!
Quick aside: I went to undergrad at Bucknell University, in Lewisburg, PA. A school for the tri-state area to be sure. Lewisburg is famous for Bucknell, the Bull Run and the Federal Penitentiary. So there you have it! I was a Sociology Major with a concentration in Human Services and I minored in Women’s Studies. While at Bucknell, not surprisingly, I trail blazed my bleeding heart ways and was a big part of Take Back The Night. Which, for a small, rich, liberal arts school — was not the most appetising cause to be a big part of! But I had my weird friends and we all did our own thing on an 80% Greek campus — while wearing the badge of GDI (God Damned Independent!). So funny that I chose the GDI route for myself, because now, many years later I am a huge part of the SF Junior League. So funny, right! oh well, whatevs. You have to follow your beliefs and inclinations!
Back to the point of my post! I’ve been told my by warrior BC survivor sisters that I can use my hair to make a wig. Rather than do that, I think I’ll donate it to locks for love. But I say this with such confidence and optimism today, because I’m not cutting my hair off this second. I know from experience, that the day I cut all of my hair off so many years ago — as a staunch feminist who strongly believed that nobody, let alone a man, could tell me how to live my life –when I looked into the mirror and my hair was gone, I cried and cried and cried. It was so bad, my mom even offered to rub oil into my scalp nightly to make it grow faster!
Fortunately, I was about to ship off to London for a semester abroad, and in the late 90’s my short hair and dark skin was considered cool, if not cutting edge. Score for me. My self-esteem came back in spades!
In all of this cancer stuff this is for sure the most daunting, scariest bit. I’m not all that scared of the bilateral — though I am scared I’ll be in a lot of pain. Paul and I talked, he doesn’t care what I look like afterward — not to mention how great the surgeons and plastics people are these days. So long as I don’t look like Frankenstein afterward, I’m cool. But for me, it’s the hair. I have really long hair! I’m going to be rocked to the core when I don’t have that anymore.
But you know me, I’ll try to make the best of it. Those of you who know me, know that I am a twin set, pearl wearing — Junior League type a gal! What can I say, I love preppy! When I first started working at Stella & Dot corporate, I think everybody there thought I was crazy. I would walk around in my Jack Rogers and carry my Vineyard Vines bag. lol. Truth be told, I did get a little bit more hip and “on trend” while at Stella & Dot 🙂
Point of all of that is that I plan to go wig-less and rock my bald head and non-eyebrows. I already have a great collection of Hermes scarves and I’ve always wanted to wear them on my head — not only around my neck. Now I have the perfect reason! And an excuse to buy MORE Hermes 🙂
My brother Chuck is flying home from India this weekend and just so happens to have a layover in Paris. You bet your ass I asked him to pick me up an Hermes at Duty Free! The more traditional, horse and bridle, the better. Yay! Something fun to look forward to! I love me some Hermes scarves (what? don’t judge — these are the things that get me through to the next day and keep me happy! So zip it please!)
Cancer — I’m choosing to look at you as a win, win right now!