I spent the day with Jackie N. (one of my former direct reports and, much more importantly, a very good friend) today. We started with brunch and then I intended to ditch her (sorry, but it’s true!) — but she was having none of it. I think she knew my plan was to feel sorry for myself and lay around the house — so she made a nuisance of herself and Thank God she did!
She helped me run a bunch of errands, including getting my medical marijuana card. Ummm, never, ever, ever thought I’d be typing those words in my life! lol
Laurie, a Bay Area Young Survivors (aka BAYS) member, told me about Compassionate Health Options here in the city on Howard and 8th. She said that I should make an appointment with them, take any piece of paper that says I have cancer, and my driver’s licence — and voila — you get pot clearance!
So, I order up an Uber and off Jackie and I go! Upon arrival, it’s the usual intake forms — I’m very used to filling out forms at this point. My life and medical history are officially an open book. I complete the form in just a few minutes. Then I meet with the first intake person and she takes my blood pressure and temp.
Next I’m shuffled over to the Pot Doctor, who asks me a few questions and takes my picture. The Pot Doctor is right out of central casting. She is a silver-haired, hip white woman. She is wearing khaki’s and a vest. So SF! She has kind eyes and asks me sympathetic questions throughout the process. No doubt she is utterly high the entire time!
Finally, I meet with a third intake person who prints out my pot card and gives me a map of local dispensaries (no joke, the website is www.weedmaps.com — come on! For real? lol).
That’s it folks. No sunshine and rainbows. Just Jackie and I — and a bunch of really weird, gross San Francisco vagrants! Something tells me that not everyone in there actually had a medical reason to be there…. 😉
Total aside: Remember that Kelis song “My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard, and there like, is better than yours, damn right it’s better than yours, I could teach you, but I’d have to charge. Na, na, na naaaah, warm it up!?” (Kellen D. — I *know* you know this one b/c you always sing it under your breath at work! hahahaha) Well, for some odd reason, I sort of feel like ‘my marijuana card will bring all the boys to the yard’!!
Well, since I’m married, probably not “all the boys”, but at least my old burner friends……
Gotta love SF! I will have to tell you sometime about my father procuring marijuana during cancer treatment in 1999 in Chattanooga, TN (far from progressive San Francisco)….and then my parents’ friends holding on to it during an extended hospital stay (mom was scared my friends would find it) only to have THEIR kids find it and throw it back at them months later during a “you are so busted” lecture after a wild weekend. “Dad, you are such a hypocrite! We know you smoke pot! We found it in your sock drawer!” “No, that would be John Van Cleave’s pot for cancer.” “Oh…damn. Nevermind.”
Grace! I love you and your midwestern-ness! Also love your last note about feminism and Jack Rogers’! xoxo
Andrea – i am secretly (well not so much now!) following your blog and I must admit, you are truly making the best out of this situation. Your writing is superb! This one was by far my favorite (hence the comment!)… if I ever find myself in SF,… now I’m really going to find my way to your yard! Will bring me back to my college days! Best of luck with your surgery and if you ever feel like getting away, my door is open! Love you! xo
….i think i know the MD you went to…8th and Howard with a big McDonalds M on it….don’t ask how i know! lol
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Andrea I can’t put your blog down. I just keep laughing and laughing. I can’t stand that milkshake song and now as I head to my first post chemo 1 week appt I’ll be singing it while waiting to see Dr oncology.