Taxol got the last laugh

Well, we are here in Hawaii on our restorative trip. My only plan is to relax, go for walks, read books, sun myself and golf.

This is the milestone trip I’ve focused on since I started chemo. I’m incredibly happy that I made it to this point and I’m in Hawaii in one piece! Well sort of anyway….

Sadly, taxol had the last laugh. As you know, my hair grew quite a bit during my taxol infusions. But a week or so ago I noticed that the front/top of my hair was thinning. I reasoned with myself that maybe my regrowth was coming in curly, so I can see my scalp bc my hair is curling in on itself. This rationalization only lasted a few days for me.

I kept taking pictures of my had and examining them for hours on end. Paul thought I was crazy. Absolutely nutz. Then, it happened..

Yesterday as I studiously applied sunblock in our condo before heading down to the pool — my hair fell out. Yup. I sprayed my hair/scalp with SPF 30 since I could clearly see patches of my scalp. Then I tried to sort of rub the sunblock in. Much to my dismay, a rainfall of white hair descended onto my feet. I called Paul over and showed him. Another sweep of my head sent tons more whispy fine baby hair floating to the floor. Ugh.

I’ve heard stories of other women holding on to their eyebrows and eyelashes right until the end of taxol, only to lose them after their final infusion. I knew I was on that path already since my eyelashes and eyebrows grew in a month ago and then fell out a week ago. But I never, in a million years, thought the hair on my head would go too.

So, here we are in Maui and my hair is falling out. What’s a girl to do? I planned all my outfits assuming I’d have a little bit of hair. I planned all my head coverings assuming the same thing. Now, I look like a balding, elderly man who is holding onto the hair around his ears and in the back. What’s it called? Chrome dome? Yes, I think that’s it, chrome dome.

F that. I’m not going to look like that on this trip. I’ve waited too long to get here. So, yesterday, Paul made me an appt at the spa and we shaved my head — again. It wasn’t too emotional this time around. Although I feel badly for the bride who was getting her wedding makeup done in the chair next to me! Christ, can you imagine the story she’ll tell for the rest of her life, “The day I got married, some cancer chick and her husband had their heads shaved in the chair right next to me. On my happiest day of days, I had to bear witness to this sad thing.”

Maybe it was just her rehearsal dinner? I hate to think I brought down a happy bride on her big day.

So, here are a few pics of Paul and I with our new haircuts. I’m getting a lot of weird looks at the pool. And I need to rework all my outfits to accommodate the bald look — but all in all — I’m not going to let this little set back turn our trip upside down. I’ll just buy a few more hats. It’s all good.






8 thoughts on “Taxol got the last laugh

  1. I totally feel you! I went to Maui about a month post treatment and was still bald..I bough a cute hat with orchids obit and wore it all week..the only time it didn’t work was at a ice dinner but hey..afternoon one knew me..and if they had an issue that was their issue! I never could wear a wig after my Maui vacation..but it was the best vacation ever! Enjoy and have a shaved ice at Ilulani for me!

  2. That woman will forever remember YOU, your story and be inspired and blessed to have encountered you on her special day… she is lucky to have crossed your path and to have been with a loving caring special couple. A model of marriage love and true commitment …

  3. I agree with Jill — what a great pre-wedding inspiration about the power of being part of a team for life. Also, you look fabulous!

  4. you look great=) good idea to have a restorative trip, i am trying to plan one also for when i am done! I have to ask or at least comment, that your boobs look great! do you still have the expanders?? I have my double mast. in august and probably the implants done in december..definitely worried i will look odd, but a few people with the expanders still look pretty natural!

    • Hi! I still have my expanders in (my bilateral was in early November so I’ve had the expanders in for 7 months) My swap put surgery is in late June. I hope the perm implants look this good/natural 🙂

  5. With or without the hat–you are stunning! Really enjoying your posts, what a great escape! Wish I could have seen you at the winery when you came by–thinking of you!

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