Over the weekend, Paul and I got the kareoke bug. So we rented a room at our favorite spot, YamaSho. Melanie, Brian, Shadin, Marwan and some of Marwan’s cousins all joined us. We belted out songs for three hours and had a fantastic time.
I noticed that I don’t have as much air as I used to. Not sure if that’s from chemo, or just my regular asthma acting up. Interesting to note that I DO wonder if it’s related to cancer. That’s just my new normal. I question everything and wonder if it’s related to what I put my body through for the past 8 months. I also wonder if new ailments mean new cancer. It’s not a fun way to live, but it’s reality. I will work with my therapist to get a handle on it so that my life isn’t completely crippled. Rather I need to be able to strike a balance b/c I do (and will) have these thoughts and fears and I know from all of my support groups that these feelings are normal and they won’t go away, ever. They just won’t. So, I’ll learn to work with them, acknowledge them, and live with them.
The next morning when I woke up more tired than usual, Paul said that it was really nice to see me having fun like the old days (read: pre-cancer). He said he was happy to see that side of me again. I was happy too. But my body punished me the next day for pushing it so hard. I woke up, had breakfast and then immediately went back to bed until it was time to have lunch. I essentially am like a growing baby. On my bad days, all I do is eat, sleep and go to the bathroom! Yes, somedays I’ll throw in a little crying for good measure — especially if it’s a particularly rough recovery day for me. I may feel sorry for myself being stuck inside my bed and bathroom all day.
But I just keep trying to remind myself — I’m only two weeks post up and 8 weeks post chemo. My body is still healing. I can’t rush this (no matter how much I want to). This will take time and patience. The latter is something I often times lack….just ask anybody who knows me!!!!
Enjoy some pics from our singing escapades!