One Year Later

I think I’ve finally found my words.

One year after this life changing thing happened to me, I thought I’d re-read my blog from beginning to end in order to fully appreciate and respect the journey that I’ve just completed. But I decided not to do that.  Instead Paul and I went to see Gravity in 3D Imax last night. That’s just how we roll over here!

I have a draft blog post sitting in my account, that I may or may not ever publish for ya’ll. It gets into the nitty-gritty about how I feel from second to second nowadays. But, when I re-read it, I felt it was too negative. Too real. I want to make a conscious decision to be more positive. I can be honest and frank in this blog — for sure. But this weekend is too monumental for me to be negative. So perhaps I’ll post that one some other day. For now — the below is the reality that I want to live:

This morning we went to the Ferry Building farmer’s market and walked around and had a scrumptious breakfast. After that, Paul went to play 18 and left me to rest at home. In his absence I decided it was best to HTB (only my S&D girlz will really get that one!) and watch our wedding video (rehearsal  dinner speeches, Indian wedding and Catholic wedding). As I write this, I’m reminded that our families and our friends love us so much. And support us as a couple through and through.

Watching all of the men in my family carry me down the aisle in the dholi made tears stream down my face. Listening to Paul’s cousins do poignant readings at our catholic ceremony gave me the chills.  It was truly a great reminder of what I still HAVE.

When I watch our faces and hear our voices during that amazing weekend of events, never did we think we’d have had the year we just had. Never. But, we are strong, as individuals, and, as a couple. Sure, we fight (we’re a normal couple) — but we love even more. Our wedding videos are a testament to our love for one another and I couldn’t have chosen a better activity to do to honor my cancerversary. In the three or more hours or so of footage we have — all I see is fierce love. On our part as well as from our family and friends.

I’d rather re-focus on the love and positive things in my life. I’d rather reflect on what I have, as opposed to what I’ve lost. I choose the rose-colored glasses dude. Because this shit is my life. I’m ready to start living it again. Fully. F YOU CANCER.

I’m reclaiming my life. Well, at least the new-normal.

Thank you to every single one of you who supported us during this crazy time. I can’t possibly name all of you — but you know who you are. Please know you made a difference and we appreciate every single small gesture, email, text, meal, phone call, gift, hug, etc. THANK YOU.

Now to the next phase — live life…..

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7 thoughts on “One Year Later

  1. You are a Strong Warrior Princess!! Your story touched so many of us. Wishing you continued health, lots of love and laughter and much more living to do! xo

  2. Beautiful Andrea. I’m glad i kept with you during this journey through your blog and the lunch we shared. I learned a lot from you. You are one strong mofo and I’m glad to call you my friend.

    Sent from my iPhone

  3. Anticipating that the one year milestone was coming, it was hard not to wonder what your thoughts would be. It was touching that you chose some wonderful wedding remembrances to focus on. As anyone who was there knows, the memories and the feelings of the day are easy to recapture; it is easy to replay a video of favorite moments in my mind. Reading your blog, I found myself thinking of the expression that past is prologue. The honesty, love, resilience, and true grit you have shown over the last year is the stuff we all hope resides to some degree somewhere in us. But both of you have actually demonstrated a well of these qualities. And it has brought you to today. With that, it is hard for the rest of us to not look forward. Congrats and love on this amazing milestone day and your always unique celebrating style.

  4. Andrea,
    I’m in such a similar situation to you! I found your blog 2 days ago and just read the whole thing from start to finish! Congratulations on your one year anniversary!!
    I’m starting chemo on Friday…12 weeks ACT + 4 weeks TC, then mastectomy, then radiation (it’s in my lymph nodes).
    I’d love to email you, would that be ok?
    Thanks,
    R
    (my contact info is on my blog)

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