I didn’t fake the tears, but I did fake the workout

Last week I needed to play hooky from being a mommy.

I hit a wall on Wednesday morning. I walked into our bedroom while Paul was still sleeping, holding Nora and sobbing.  I explained to Paul that I’d been up for a few hours already and Nora and I were just having an “off” day. She wouldn’t take the bottle from me and I was becoming increasingly frustrated and crestfallen all at the same time. I was feeling like a bad mommy.

Ever the amazing husband, Paul agreed to come home early from work so that I could go to the gym and get some “me” time while blowing off steam.

True to his word, he came home early. I immediately left the house, gym bag in hand. I drove to the gym. Parked in the gym’s garage (which is a city lot that is subsidized by my gym). But instead of taking the elevator up to the club, I got off at the street level and walked next door to the Neiman Marcus Last Call.

What? It’s not my fault there’s a shopping mall next door to my gym! I spent about an hour and a half in there trying a ton of stuff on.  Then, guilt set in and I decided I needed to leave. Paul was at home juggling both baby and work. I couldn’t leave him for too long.

Crud! I needed to go into the gym to get my parking validated. Otherwise, I’d have to pay full price at the lot — and there’s no way in hell I was doing that. So up to the gym I went.

Once there, I looked at the heavy gym bag I’d been carrying around and thought to myself “Well, why not make lugging this thing around worth your while Andrea?” I bet you’re thinking, “oh, good, she ended up getting a workout in.” Nope, you’re wrong.

I went into the locker room and took a long, uninterrupted shower. A shower not hurried by fear that Nora will wake from her nap at any moment. I even shaved my legs. Then I did my hair and put on make-up. It was wonderful!

At this point, I’d already gone so far off the deep end I figured what’s a little more? So I got a chocolate peanut butter smoothie on my way out. LOL

Worst part about all of this is I let Paul assume I’d worked out when I got home. I was newly showered and in street clothes after all. I was totally selling the story.

Don’t worry, I confessed my sins to him within five minutes when I had to explain the Neiman’s bag sticking out of my gym bag….

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