Dead Head

Went deep with the Grateful Dead at Nora’s 1pm feed.

It can’t always be Joshua Bell up in our house. Gotta teach this girl ALL the classics.

It reminded me of running around Eagle Heights with Nicole and Sarah. I regaled Nora with stories of mommy’s childhood hijinx!

Jerry’s voice lulled her into an almost comatosed state — she just pulled and pulled on her bottle until she was milk drunk. I was a wee bit concerned the feed might end in projectile vomiting. Ya know — much like a Dead concert — it can go either way! Thankfully she was super mellow and just jammed to the music on her play mat.

She doesn’t come with an instruction booklet, so I just do what feels right. Today, this felt right and, miraculously, it worked. She’s having a good day!

#parenthood

   

 

Tiny Moments

Today we listened to Joshua Bell’s ‘Romance of the Violin’ while you ate.

We both wept.

Tears streamed down my face because you’re finally in my life. I used to listen to JB during cancer and dream of you. Now you’re in my arms and I’m overcome with love. His music takes me back to a sad time. I’m so happy you’re here to supplant those memories.

I’m so emo over you!

I’d like to think you cried because you thought the music was beautiful and haunting. In fact, you pulled at your bottle in time with the music, dozing off during particularily calm parts and coming back to life for a good sucking sesh during the energetic bits.

But in reality, you probably cried due to gas and reflux!

 

EditEdit

 

I’m two months old today!

Full of mischief, smiles and curiosity. 





Precious Moments

Holding hands and locking eyes. I could do this forever…

IMG_1308

IMG_1311

Hello World!

We welcome with love, Nora Anjali Sieminski
January 7, 2015 6:34 am
6lb. 4 oz., 19.5 inches

Showered With Love

Baby Sieminski is so loved by so many of you. It makes me so happy!

Over the past two weekends, we’ve had two incredible baby showers.  The first was when we were back east in Buffalo visiting family and the second was here in SF.

Both were exquisite. These two Sieminski girls feel so loved and cherished. Thank you all so much for the support and lovely gifts.

I have to send a special shout out to Sandy in Buffalo and Sarah, Tegan and Ami in SF — you  all did an amazing job planning and hosting these events. I will never forget them!

I’ll let the slideshows below do all the talking!

Buffalo Shower:

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

 

San Francisco Shower:

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

 

Another year, another cancerversary….

Happy two year cancerversary to me.  Wow. Time really does fly. I can’t believe another year has gone by.  I also can’t believe that I now mark time by my cancercerversary — more so than my birthday. Weird.

As I get further and further away from my diagnosis date, I’m learning some important lessons and coping skills.  While cancer (and it’s potential recurrence or mets) are still at the forefront of my mind everyday, I’ve gotten much better at acknowledging those thoughts, and then filing them at the back of my brain and carrying on with my day.

I’m not sure what changed or why I’m coping better these days. I suspect it has a lot to do with the life that’s growing inside of me! I put our daughter before myself now — even though she’s still in utero. I don’t have time to let the past haunt me.

Don’t get me wrong though, while I feel less afraid of recurrence (or perhaps more at peace with the fact that I’m not in control of whether or not I have a recurrence) this year saw a new set of issues crop up…  Recently I’ve struggled a lot with survivors guilt.  How is it possible that I had cancer, took all the steps that the doctors recommended — and it all WORKED.  I’m still NED and I’m pregnant on top of that. So much good luck and fortune smiling down on me.

Yet, I know people who did all of the same things I did, but their cancer didn’t go away. In some cases, those people are no longer with us.  It’s so hard to wrap my head around all of this.  But it’s my reality. Though I can’t help wondering why them and not me?

I don’t have the answers to any of this at the moment, I’m just slowly trudging through these waters and trying to remind myself that my feelings are legitimate and normal.  And I focus on our family – I marvel every time baby girl Sieminski kicks inside my belly. It’s such an amazing feeling that jolts me back into reality and reminds me to be happy — to revel in all of our good fortune.

Speaking of good fortune — we’re currently in Buffalo visiting our newest niece, Anna Yasodhara! She is the cutest, smushiest, yummiest love bug I’ve ever seen.  Paul is madly in love with her! I can tell he’s beyond excited for the arrival of our bundle of joy! Watching him coo over her makes me love him even more (didn’t know that was possible!).

20141011-094407-35047964.jpg

Our lovely sister-in-law, Sandy, is throwing us a baby shower this afternoon.  I truly can’t think of a better activity to do on this cancerversary! OH! Here’s another tidbit for you — today is not only my two year cancerversary — but it also marks the first day of my third trimester! Whoot!

Obligatory bump pic below:

20141011-094406-35046835.jpg